FUNERAL

despair-3

Roaring…prowling…clawing at the air…my teeth sink into nothing. Restless and irritated at the buzzing of flies…these in my mind, I snap, glaring and red-eyed. I’m daring a fight that won’t come. Ah, Heavens!

It is the last day of the year…moments ticking away as any other day, but the last of this precise slice of time. I want it over with, and yet, I cling to it with my hand like a child. Not a bad year…nothing like that. Balancing the scale of judgement, it slips between my fingers, spilling everything. And the blood still pounds relentlessly in my ears as a mad drummer in a padded cell…unheard by anyone.

I torment myself and I do it well. Wishing myself awash in canvas and paint, carving out pieces of recognizable dreams from clay chaos. Instead…

I’m choking on words, banging the letters of a keyboard until my fingers bleed. The atmosphere is cloying like a bowl of long dead flowers floating in skum. Funerary in spirit and attitude, we carve the seconds off the old years carcass, pretending it savory instead of sour.

Mourning jewelry has always becomed me.

photo “Despair”LAS  copyright 2007  “funeral” LAS copyright 2016  all rights reserved

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